


Daytime Wanderings

by ThisShipHasSails



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: F/F, thasmin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-02
Updated: 2019-02-02
Packaged: 2019-10-21 02:48:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 651
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17634608
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThisShipHasSails/pseuds/ThisShipHasSails
Summary: There was a moment, back in Montgomery, when things could have gone differently, he thinks.





	Daytime Wanderings

**Author's Note:**

> Companion piece to Nighttime Wanderings. Stands on its own, though.

There was a moment, back in Montgomery, when things could have gone differently, he thinks, as he makes his way to the TARDIS swimming pool for his weekly training session with Yaz. Given his dyspraxia, he never trusted himself in water deeper than his legs were long. He loved being in the water, though, and his nan had promised him to teach him how to swim as soon as he had mastered the bike. 

Tim Shaw made sure that never happened.

Thinking of his nan still hurts like hell, and for a moment he has to stop and lean on the nearest TARDIS wall for support, as he feels his knees threaten to give out under him. Sometimes, when they are out on an adventure and facing down an enemy, he yearns for a good fight, hopes that physical pain might ease the low but constant pounding of loss deep inside of him. He thinks that a proper punch to the face might be way preferable to that knock to his guts that has him reeling every time he thinks of his nan. He also thinks the Doctor must have noticed, as she always keeps him and Graham as far away from the action as possible in situations like this. He can’t blame her for that, but he can’t quite help feeling angry with her either in the moment. And sometimes, he sees his own frustration reflected in his granddad’s eyes, the older man’s clenched fists a mirror to his own.

And sometimes he thinks that he doesn’t want the pain to stop, for as much as it hurts, it is also a reminder of her that he just doesn’t want to let go off. Not yet, anyway.

But he also has a swimming lesson to go to and his gran has raised him to always try and be the best version of himself. So he tries a trick that he gleaned from one of his granddad’s self-help grief books that the older man keeps hidden underneath his mattress, and consciously steers his thoughts to a happier place in his mind.

He’ll do this for her, he thinks. He’ll learn how to swim and do his nan proud.

And with that, he continues on his way to the swimming pool on Deck 7 and returns in his mind to that moment in Montgomery. Sat next to that dumpster, he and Yaz had shared something that could have become more, had they just had the time. But, somehow, time was the one thing they never seemed to have enough of. Bit ironic, really, considering they were travelling the universe with a _Time_ Lord. 

So, the moment passed, as they had to make sure that history went on its proper path and the civil rights movement kicked off the way it was supposed to. And then they were back in Sheffield and saying goodbye to the Doctor, and he saw the look in Yaz’s eyes as she invited her for tea instead, and then he saw the look in the Doctor’s eyes as she accepted the invitation as if it was a lifeline, and he knew that the moment had passed. 

And he is happy for his old friend from school and his new friend from god knows where, although he’s still not quite sure whether they know what he has suspected ever since that invitation to tea. 

But as he rounds the last corner to the swimming pool on Deck 7, he is suddenly very certain that the two women have finally caught up with themselves, as he sees them at the other end of the pool, waist-deep in water, arms wrapped around each other and lips locked in a passionate kiss.

Now his nan also raised him to be a gentleman, and so he turns on his heels and quietly walks away, thinking to himself that the swimming lesson can wait.


End file.
